Disclaimer: If you drink all that would be required of you to drink by following this verbatim, you’d likely suffer liver failure. You should probably stick to juice……..or at least alcohol mixed with juice…
That being said, enjoy!
Take a drink:
-Any time the words “job creators” are used.
-Whenever the candidates answer a question they weren’t asked.
-Whenever a candidate shows either islamophobia or homophobia (BONUS: Finish your drink if they express both islamo-homophobia in the same sentence)
-If Newt says “any one of us on stage would be better than president Obama” or something along those lines.
-If Newt calls this “the most important election in our lifetime.” (BONUS: Take two drinks if that line comes from one of the other candidates)
-Any time rich people are referred to as “job creators.”
-If the moderator ask Willard about his tax returns.
-Every time Bain Capital is mentioned. (BONUS: Finish your drink if Romney changes the number of jobs “he created” while there during the debate)
-Any time a candidate says “left me finish” or “will you let me answer the question.”
-Every time a candidate goes over their allotted time and are buzzed/dinged/whatever.
-Whenever Ron Paul references the constitution in some way, shape or fashion.
-Whenever Gingrich complains about one of the moderator’s questions. (BONUS: Take three drinks if he still decides to answer it and not skirt it)
-Whenever Newt’s dealings with Freddie Mac are brought up.
Take two drinks:
-Any time “Obamacare” is mentioned.
-Any time “Romneycare” is mentioned.
-If Newt goes after the media.
-If someone refers to DC as the “shining city” or “beacon on the hill.”
-Any time a candidate attacks Willard (aka Mittens) for not yet releasing his tax returns.
-Every time Obama is referred to as a socialist.
-Every time the State of the Union Address is mentioned.
-When Newt’s ethics investigation is brought up (BONUS: Take three drinks if Romney starts it)
Take three drinks:
-When someone brings up one of Newt’s wives.
-Whenever Ron Paul talks about the gold standard.
-A candidate mentions a country other than America, Afghanistan, Iraq, or Iran.
-Any time Newt modifies something with the words “shockingly” or “fundamentally.”
-Whenever Santorum brings up defeating the Democrats in the 90s. (BONUS: Finish your drink if talks about the area being a Democratic stronghold previously or something similar)
-Whenever a candidate’s real estate is brought up.
Chug your beverage:
-Any time there is an extremely inappropriate applause/interjection from the crowd.
-Any time “Obamacare” and “Romneycare” are mentioned in the same sentence.
-If Willard (aka Mittens) Romney lies about his first name.
-If NBC has introduced some new way to let the candidates know when their time is up.
-If someone references Ron Paul being a doctor. (BONUS: Double your chug if Paul references it himself)
Finish your drink:
-If they start the questions off with Ron Paul. (BONUS: Finish two drinks if Ron Paul’s suit actually fits correctly)
-If the word “Mormon” is uttered.
-If Ron Paul brings up his son’s incident with the TSA. (If posed as a legitimate question from the moderator first only take three drinks)
-If the candidates are asked about Florida’s drug testing law for welfare recipients.
Finish all the alcohol in your general vicinity:
-If one of the candidates calls Brian Williams BriWi.
-If anyone mentions what you find when you Google “Santorum.”